First off, so sorry for the disappearance! Honestly, I kinda forgot about this. My life has been crazy.
A couple weeks ago my family and I watched ‘Joker’. I’ve always been a long time fan of the crazy clown. But with the toxic media I wanted to give my piece on what I think about Joker.
I am so blown away by the film. It’s definitely one of the best movies this year. Every single second in the film was a masterpiece. Growing up, I always wanted to be a movie director (sadly, not anymore) so seeing this movie touched me in many ways. The soundtrack is mind blowing. Everything about it was beautiful.
If you haven’t seen it, you’re missing out. The film hits me so hard because I know what it’s like. Most people do. So as we continue, I’ll warn you I will be giving away spoilers.
Most of you already know I have PTSD. And so does Arthur Fleck, the Joker. Recently, I saw an article (I didn’t read it because it angered me) saying that the film was basically messing up portraying mental illnesses. Which is nothing but lies. Take it from me. Every single person deals with things differently. The movie was incredibly accurate for me. Honestly, all of the media attention over the movie is just attention grabbing bologna. As they say, no attention is bad attention (or something like that.)
Anyway, that headline made me realize I can just tell people how much the movie means to me. I’ve had PTSD all my life. I sympathise with Arthur because I am Arthur. I’m that person society and the world had casted out and it feels like the whole world has it out for me. And everyone feels like that, at least once in their life.
Arthur was nothing but a joke to the world, and eventually, that set him free. When Arthur found out his mother’s lies, and his repressed memories, I felt it. It hurt. Going through something similar, I felt so connected to him. His whole childhood and life was forever damaged. Something he couldn’t control and what society would hate him for.
My mom always said when we talk about the film, “The movie is amazing because you believe it, you feel like it’s real, because that stuff actually happens!” And it’s true. That’s why I can’t understand why people actually believe that the Joker movie is bad. It’s the reality of the world in which we live. Jokes, memes, and opinions aside, we live in a world where it’s hard for someone to be mentally stable. There’s too many things that hassle us daily. And we eventually break.
I love Joker in so many ways. But the line from the Killing Joke sticks with me all the time, “All it takes is one bad day.” And if you’ve heard it, you understand. Arthur was thrown into a domino effect. One thing after the other, all leading up to his complete psychotic break. And we see after the break how much his mental state shifts. We see him become free, and I say free, because that’s exactly what it is. His mind lets go of the wheel and he doesn’t care anymore. With that smile on his face, his emotions leave him. For his whole life he was plagued with those emotions. And then he let them go.
My favorite line is when Arthur says, “For my whole life, I didn’t know if I even really existed.” As a person with depersonalization, that is exactly how I feel all the time. There’s so many things I relate to. And as a Joker fan, it was so amazing to be able to see the Clown Prince of Crime be an actual person. To actually see him be a ‘normal’ human was just so crazy to grasp.
And we all need to realize that Joker if a fictional person. I believe that the media has gotten so toxic for everyone. We all need to be able to read something and question it first before jumping to conclusions. And it’s hard sometimes. We’ll never really be able to conquer that. So with all these people in an uproar about the movie who’ll never get to appreciate it for what it is, I feel sorry. The movie spoke to my soul in so many ways.
As a child, Joker was one of the few icons I looked up to. Not for his crazy psychopathic tendencies. But for other reasons. I sympathize with ‘villains’ because I don’t see them as villains. I see them as misunderstood. They do things for a reason. In most cases, it’s the world or bad circumstances that drive them to insanity.
Side note; I learned a lot about Joaquin Phoenix and man, if it’s anyone to understand PTSD and mental illness, it’s him. He’s been through a lot himself so I really applaud him for his acting. It was brilliant and I hope the best for his future!
Please tell me if what your thoughts are on the movie and what you liked the most! This wraps up another blog post. Again, sorry for the long silence. Hope to see you all again soon! Peace and love to you all!
Mich's Mind 